I have suddenly become keenly aware that I can not just be, that I can not just experience. Things must be immortalized, carved in stone tablets, and broad casted to the people. I fear that my journey has become not enough in itself to satisfy me. That somehow there is an inherent need for it to be put on display, envied, and idolized. Instead of simply seeing with my eyes, my camera has become my looking glass, my words have become advertisements, selling out to the masses.
I feel saddened by my Epiphany, yet the likelihood of change is slim to none. This train of thought started in my head and will end with the words on this page. Which really sounds a great deal sadder than I intend. This is my brief moment of reflection and inner critique. However, I do write this so that these thoughts are not immediately drowned out by the next but stored as to be remembered and maybe even one day learned from. Because truly I do wish to just be.
I believe it is etched in every persons DNA to be remembered. Maybe that is the underlying motivation for all of this. The hope that my journey might catapult me from nothing to notable, that by sharing my stories my humble journey becomes legend.
I realize the hypocrisy in all of this. I realize how stupid and pretentious I sound. Part of me wants to blame society, technology, and a long list of other shallow reasons. However I know that buck stops here, with me. Ergo this rant may just serve its purpose and maybe, just maybe I will eventually just be.
Now that i have spewed my random thoughts and insecurities out for all to see I will leave you to try and make sense of this, and hopefully allow you to reflect on your own slice of life. I am not sure much of this makes sense but I feel like this was necessary for some small measure of personal growth.
Goodnight.
